31st May 2006

Well I managed to take a photo this morning which I will add to the gallery.

Thought I would have a go at a black and white photo as some of the images I have seen on Pbase really make you want to shoot mono. These landscapes in particular caught my eye. Absolutely breathtaking! I have to say I am not so impressed with my photography of late and really I should get more practice shooting and in post production (although you would think working with images every day might improve my ability).

Blog is now over a month old so I will change the images on the home page tomorrow providing I get a little time and manage to stay of Oblivion.

Nikki's Grandma is getting better slowly and hopefully will be able to go home at some point although she is trying to rush her return. I hope she doesn't leave too early as I can see her falling over and ending right back in the hospital.
I am sure when I was younger people were healthier around me. It seems you turn thirty and, suddenly, illness creeps up on everyone.

I hope I don't but should I get woken up by the bloody birds again at 5 a.m. I will put some more on the blog, after wringing the life out of the noisy avian neighbour.

30th May 2006

Can you believe it, it is just over a month since I started this web site. I have already got slack with it, as Ian at work has pointed out (over a bloody game!) I will try and be more regular with updates. Incidentally Ian, who is a photographer also, and almost as good as me (just kidding Ian!), has posted some of his photos at Pbase. The last lot he showed me were breath-taking and a must to see.
Pbase seems to have a lot of wonderful artists posting and I can only suggest you have a look around. I always liked Chromasia and had not come across any photos which I liked as much but some of the work at Pbase, frankly, beats the hell out of anything. One lady in particular is just fantastic. She does a lot of work post photography but I can only say don't let that put you off. See here for her work.

I am not set up at Pbase yet but I think I will set it up soon. I do have some images at Flickr.com which are here.

There seems to be a lot of illness going around at the moment. My Noo is feeling pretty rank. Some of the clients at work are 'out-of-it'. All I can say is, if you feel the twinge of illness knocking at your bones, a little bit of the vin rouge goes a long way. Just for medicinal purposes, you understand?

Johnski in the big smoke is having a birthday bash on the 17th June. I shall be flying at 30,000 ft at that point on my way on hols. Bloody typical! Whenever I get a chance to see the fellas in ol' smokey I am busy. Still at least that way I don't have to show them up with my drinking prowess as two halves of shandy and they are all over the place! (Juz kidding!)

John's birthday is not the only one I missing. Rosie-ro is having her.... nah, I won't say how old she is. Rosie if you read this please let me know how it goes and I look forward to coming over and seeing your house at some point.

I was going to put up a photo but after seeing Ian's and everyone at Pbase I am in two minds. I can't make up my mind what to put up so will leave it till later in the week.

Finally Ali goes into hospital soon so I am putting together the ipod so she has something to do while she waits to give birth. Their kidd-winckle is feeling much better now, along with Ian's little girl so the big worries seem to be over. Yay! That was one weird and worrying month – almost over now. Good riddance!

24th May 2006

Had to come home from work because I feel bloody awful. I don't know what's happening. My back hurts, I have sprained my ankle, I feel sick, have a headache and other stuff (which I won't go into too much detail). Still I managed to get some work done so at least I made my hours up at home. I just hope I am better tomorrow. My appetites down and for a greedy pig like me, that is a sure sign something's wrong.

Ian at work sent me a very funny Star Wars parody link -
http://lactosetheintollerent.blogspot.com/2006/05/seth-mcfarlane-as-palpatine.html

Scall's in Brighton is thinking about getting a graphics tablet. In discussing this we got into the old argument of whether Macs are better than PC's and if Apple are worth the extra coin. I will follow up on this topic when I feel up to it but anyone reading can email me their thoughts and I will post them here.

Right, gona chill out for a bit.

23rd May 2006

Had a nice long weekend but it's back to work now. I realise I haven't recorded much on the site and this is due, I'm afraid to say to a game. Since I won't be selling my laptop and instead will be saving for a new (G5) base unit equivalent, (when they are released), I have got the Macbook back out and installed Oblivion: Elder Scrolls.

What can I say? A hugely playable, realistic RPG game which is so pretty. In real-time it has so many features to it the programmers must be congratulated. It is a real achievement. Its lack of linear play (it does have a main quest running through it but basically, you do what you want), is very compelling and gives it a genuine feel. I would heartily suggest it, if RPG's are your thing. Even if they're not, have a go!

21st May 2006

The poker results are in for Friday the 19th June. The night was a great success marred only by my hang-over yesterday which was titanic! Everyone had a great night and even though I lost the final game and the nights winnings, I was very happy with how the meet went. I was also nice to see Sir Bob and Chips again.

I also went to see the Da Vinci Code yesterday which I really liked. I was worried initially when the film felt like it was plodding and had none of the tense opening of Dan Brown's book but, hey, YOU try and faithfully reproduce a book to film.
All in all I liked the performances but have to agree with the critics that Ian McKellum, it seems, can do no wrong.
Its ending I particularly liked and having seen no film recently that manages to finish well, I would recommend it.

As a consequece of watching the Da Vinci Code it put me in the mood for a bit of a Tom Hanks movie so Nikki and I watched Forrest Gump, a movie back in 1994 that Tom got an Oscar for (the other being Philadelphia).

My Macbook sale ends today. What a complete hassle it has been. If no-one offers a reasonable amount this time I will simply keep the machine and save for a base unit later in the year.

16th May 2006 - UPDATE

Wow! It has been brought to my attention that I have been awarded the Beck's Futures art prize for my short film on 16mm, Long After Tonight, a tribute to northern soul. '

I'd just like to thank the critics, my mum, Scalls (for bringing the review to my attention), the homeless, the criminally insane, the makers of 'cats' and everyone else who contributed to this work of art.

Alternatively, in the great words of Scoobie Doo, "uh-err, no' me". Really very wierd when you see someone else with your name (hey, but that's me - common!)

I have had news today also of a birthday coming up and a party to boot. Rosie Frances is getting a wee bit older on the 23rd, if memory serves? She is having a bash on the 24th which I am sure will be a ripper! I will be thinking of you but, alas, as mentioned below I am off to Fuerteventura and won't be back.

I will be missing some of the world cup too (with that and work) so that sucks. I usually enjoy hanging out with Mat and his friends at his bar (which I recommend). I don't get to see him much so it is frustrating. (Ever notice how you always plan to see friends more often and never do?). All I seem to do it work (and I know many of you out there can empathize with that).

16th May 2006

Well, so much for the good weather. It has rained all over the weekend and into the week here but I don't care because...My holiday is finally booked with Thoma Cook to Fuerteventura (Costa Calma). We got it all-inclusive for a week for 450 quid so I expect to come back crispy and massive.

Still getting a lot of interest in the computer. It is difficult because I am having to sell at a huge loss just so I can get a base unit later in the year. I may just keep it (so I can use all the windows games on the new machine with the awesome graphics card) and get a base unit as well later in the year. Trouble is I was thinking of getting another camera (D200). Hmmm, have to think on this one.

Heard from my friend Spencer darn' south. He must still be reeling from the FA cup loss against Liverpool. Not that it will help them at all but West Ham played brilliantly and it was only Liverpool answering 'in-kind' that won them cup. Truly entertaining and epic game - let face it, if Liverpool had stumbled through to a shootout win it would have been a shame. Anyway I am posting a joke he sent over to me. Nice to hear from you Spencer. Keep 'em coming and I will post them.

RETIREMENT BONUS

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement, a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam.

At work everything is busy as usual. My friends little boy will be out soon (hopefully this Thursday). However it seems that the father Gareth has got sickness from the ward and has been ordered away. Typical luck there - lets hope he gets better soon.

12th May 2006

Gareth at work tells me their little boy is stable at hospital. It may yet be an up hill climb back to full health but at least he is on the right road - yay! Phew, thank god! I hope Alison & Gareth get some rest, though they are having a baby soon so not much chance of that.

Macbook is back at eBay. After the misunderstanding with the other buyer I am posting it back. Still have some offers but they are not as high as they should be. I accept I will take a loss for it but really, I would rather keep it and not get a new base unit when they are released than be out 400 quid.

Still sunny, so still biking. I will post a little bit more tonight if I get time.

11th May 2006

There are so many scams on eBay it actually makes my gums ache! Since posting my computer on there I have been contacted by loads of b&%^* sellers trying to get me to post money through Western Union (where I can't trace it - yeah that works for me, not!) I have decided to make the resource page my next item so I can post some help on dealing with the scammers out there.

Other than that, heard from John in the big smoke yesterday. He sent me a funny link (video fusion of Lord of the RIngs & Star Wars - I would suggest the QT version). As he suggests, get past the intro where they have blended the movie together and get part way through. It did make me laugh out loud but then again I am a simple fellow.

Well the sun is shining and I am in the mood for bike ride to work. Have a good one all!

10th May 2006

My friends' little boy is stable. He is still very ill but at least he isn't any worse. So a big positive vibe out to them in hospital. As a wise man once said to me... 'things... can only get better'!

9th May 2006 - UPDATE

eBay has ended on the Macbook Pro sale but the buyer and I have mutually withdrawn the sale. He is a nice guy so there is no need for strikes or neg feedback. If you are still interested please go to this page and give me a call / email.

9th May 2006 - UPDATE

Poker room now has results update and lists who has confirmed for the next poker night.

9th May

My friends little boy is still very ill in hospital so first mention on today's blog goes to him and his parents. Still hoping with all my heart things turn well. For f&^% sake they need a break!

Computer finishes today on eBay. I have had some good offers as well though not much from the classifieds. If the bid doesn't go up on eBay again I may end it early and sell to the highest offer or I may re-post just to see if I can make some money back.

Had a great email from Stephen Dawkes so I am posting it here. Always fun to take the P%^$ out of gender stereotypes.

Subject: men

Things that make blokes proud of themselves!

1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it
effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars
are men's work.

2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, I've got a knife thanks!

5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and- as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.

6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding
towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else
struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.

7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your
hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look
like.

9. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past",it says,
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

10. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

11. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stick that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

12. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed.
However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

13. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

14. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?"
to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women.
Congratulations, you are now your dad.

15. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

16. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

17. TAKING OUT Ј200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

18. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get
straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.
Seven. See ya."

19. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes
you the worlds best driver.

20. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in
the fields in blistering heat. Why? So when it's over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

21. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad?"

22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right,
I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo

Words Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only
five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the
game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually
end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make
to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.

Thanks for that Stephen.

RIght, it is 5 or so in the morning. I should try and get a little more sleep before work. Hard to sleep in (miss being a student where it was practically the law to have a ay-in. Actually I don't think I could live like a student now. The mess would drive me mad. Ah, to finally get older).

6th May 2006 - UPDATE

The gallery has some new pics. You can view all the images as thumbs or as one big pic in the flash browser - a lot of the photos do not fit however so if you want to see them whole without having to scroll around them click pop up (you must have your pop up disabled off for this to work) and you can see the whole image on its own page. NOTE: Mac Safari users have to double click the pop up button or option for it to work.

6th May 2006 - UPDATE

The poker room is now open - enjoy guys! Oh and can I have player profiles from you all please?

6th May 2006

Nothing yet from my friends about them and their little boy - I feel sick thinking about it so god knows how they are coping.

Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please....
Let it be good news soon.

Work has been great if a little tiring. I had an early start the other morning shooting in Newark-on-Trent. Up at 3.30 a.m. I got there for sunrise (as the day was predicted to be hot, 25 degrees) only to be rained on for the first 4 and half hours. I did manage to get all the photos we need and got about 5 I really like but it hard to be creative with photography when you are on a time limit. Really you have to go for the safe shot and then hope to get a chance to be creative.

Nice to have sun at last and I am in my shorts. Have to be careful as anyone taking a direct look at these 'chicken legs' may suffer for it. Still they may be more bearable when tanned. Oh and speaking of tanning I should be going on holiday soon so that's cool.

Last weekend of the Macbook sale - things are looking good and with the end of auction rush I think I will get what I want for it. Awesome bit of kit. I would recommend it to anyone. If asked why just check out the new apple ads on their site - very funny!

Next - I decided to pull down all the portraits I had taken and posted of children for my photography so far (and lets face it, there weren't many and I only just put them up). Once I had permission to take the photos it didn't occur to me later 'down-the-line' to ask again to post them on my site (my naivety, unfortunately). A friend of mine had a good reason not to want her kids made public which I completely understand. However the social paranoia over taking and showing children's portraits drives me mad (especially as, in the end, I gave in and rather than get into trouble, I 'played-ball' and removed my pictures). Don't get me wrong, I can see how it has come to this but I worry sometimes that the pendulous action of fear in countering those that would abuse such images can take us beyond reasonable measure and into the realm of extremism, censorship and denial. (Phew what a rant!)

So we can take care, guard our children reasonably and enjoy children in pictures/photos/art or we can burn all pictures of children and lock them away, pretend they don't exist and storm the national gallery burning Degas and Monets as we go. You decide!

For a photographer who still has wondefull photos of kids (among other things) see chromasia. This guy is brilliant as you can see and a real inspiration to me.

Man, if I'd know I would be getting on my soapbox with this site maybe I would have thought twice about doing it. Anyway these are just my opinions (again, in today's social climate I better state that otherwise some idiot might read this web page, lose the plot and go and beat up a photographer - and I would be held accountable... No, don't worry. I don't mean you!)

Well, I will leave this page alone for a while now. Please if you have an opinion or think I am 'full-of-it' please email me. Adios!

2nd May 2006

Firstly, I would like to put a special message to my friends from work who are at hospital with their little boy. All my hopes for a speedy recovery for Archer and some peace for you guys - it is about time you had a break. So hear me, powers that be - SORT IT OUT and leave these people alone.

Right, on a lighter note I have had an email from my favorite gal darn' south - Jovitz! An ex-client and friend of mine, Jovitz enjoys being spun in carpets, muffins and pets in hats.

Big up the Jovitz! I look forward to more emails from you but, until then, please let me recap on the images I sent you.

1st May 2006

Usually I will move monthly entry's to an archive but, given that I have just begun, I will keep going this time.

Nan's Birthday today so I surprised her in Peterborough at a pub near the Truckfest show. It was a good day and the meal was good (for chain pubs). It was a Harvester and I recommend it as you get to attack a salad bar laden with goodies before you even get to the starters and main. Of course, I am a big greedy pig. Yum! It was nice to see the family anyway. I also got to visit grandad's grave and bring him up to speed on everything.

Managed to get a few hours working on this site too & deal with the huge amount of people who after my Macbook Pro. I will put a page up later in the week with more details just to back up the eBay response.

Site is coming together quite nicely. I have quickly re-designed the logo for imagi. I will see how I feel about it in a few days as to whether I will keep it.

Right I WILL come off the computer for a bit.

30th April 2006

The website begins! This will be the 4th website I have put together for myself. The first, written in HTML was no bad for a beginner (many moons ago!). There were a few pages littered with much the same content as I plan to put in this. Obviously having completed lots of websites at work this site will be a little more advanced than the old page's simple anchors and HTML links. The problem is that while I love my work, after hours and hours of design, the last thing you want to do is fill your free time with more work. On the other hand designing for yourself is terrific - you know all the answers to the questions and can, pretty much, do what-ever you like.

The second website I wrote (still 'imagi' - I will go into how that name came about in the future) was much better than the first. It had original graphics and had a theme - virtual reality. It was like an old 'choose your own adventure' book. You had to move around a virtual space and find the different pages spread out - in and outside a 3D rendered building. For example, the gallery, was in the lobby, links were on a strange monolith in the back yard of the building. It featured 'Suitcase Dave's Cafe' (which I must do a page to like Farquars Bar). It wasn't animated but it still worked quite well, although by today's standards it would seem a little dated.

(In fact, if I can find the old sites I will put them up to have a look over them again. While these are crude and simple I can't help but have a soft spot for them)..

Finally this last revision for this site started off very differently. Again I will put the site up in archive to demonstrate. I had a clear idea of what I wanted for this site but one factor (as I mentioned above) was an overwhelming fact that I tend not to keep updating my own complex sites if it is overly complex. It was going to be too much to keep adding lots of info and I wanted something far more simple and easy so hopefully I can keep it up-to-date.

Well I think that is enough for now. Lets see if I can get the gallery section up and running.

Here we go then. Mat Stokes is proud to release, the initial stages of 'imagi'. I hope you find even one thing interesting, helpful or amusing.

Oh, please feel free to email me if you find any broken links, if something doesn't work on your browser or if you have any ideas for the site.

Cheers,
Mat 'yogavenger' Stokes